Olympus Mans

Happy Spring, I guess

2011-03-22T14:19:00.000-04:00

Well yesterday was the first day of spring... and it snowed. Screw that. The rest of the week is supposed to be crappy, too. But I was promised that it would change soon.

It better.

Happy St Patrick's Day

2011-03-17T12:19:00.000-04:00

Today is St. Patrick's Day, the universal day of boozing it up. Thanks to my craptastic work hours, I won't be celebrating it this year (again), but I hope everyone out there who does has a fun (but safe) time.

The other thing in this strip I want to talk about a moment is 3D. I've seen a couple movies in 3D, such as "Avatar" and honestly.... I dunno, it's not that I don't see it, because I do, it's just that I don't care about it. Like any other special effect, it's pretty to look at sometimes, but it doesn't actually make movies better.

It could be argued that 3D is no different than the introduction of color or widescreen, but honestly I didn't need to put on a pair of uncomfortable glasses in order to see either of those things. And neither color nor widescreen failed to catch on multiple times, as 3D has. A shitty movie is a shitty movie, and making shit jump off the screen at me isn't going to change that. A good movie is a good movie, and will remain good regardless of whether shit is jumping off the screen at me.

At PAX last weekend, there were a number of options to test out 3D gaming, and I avoided all of them. I suppose I should have at least glanced at Nintendo's 3DS in order to get a glimpse of 3D gameplay that supposedly works without glasses. But honestly, until I get something like this... I'm just not interested.

PAX Olympus

2011-03-15T13:32:00.000-04:00

I attended PAX East last weekend. At best, it was an experience full of hilarity and video gamey goodness. At worst, it was a semi-awkward nerdfest wherein I witnessed much gawking at the female sex. Now, I've gotten quite good at not being noticed in crowds, particularly by the aforementioned female sex. At these conventions, it can be expected to find people dressed up as various fictional characters (some less fictional - pretty sure I saw a "Modern Warfare 2" 'terrorist'), and, yes, many of them are women. Our group came across one girl in particular who was dressed, I was informed, as "Zero Suit Samus" - the heroine of the long-running "Metroid" franchise for Nintendo.

She was, predictably, surrounded by a group of males taking numerous pictures with their cell phones.

At one point in the day, while waiting in line, a couple of girls (one dressed as Lara Croft of "Tomb Raider") walked past. I caught them out of the corner of my eye, and that's pretty much where they stayed. My companion, however, said, "Whoo, check it out... photo op." I informed him that I was quite happy using my peripherals and that I didn't want to be "that guy."

You know... "that guy" - as in, pretty much everyone at this convention.

I have more to say on this subject, I'm sure, but I'll leave it there for now. More on PAX will be forthcoming. But I had a great time.

Love Me, Love My Wardrobe

2011-03-08T01:39:00.000-05:00

People who know me well enough know that I have a gray fleece jacket form Old Navy that I've worn nearly every day for... I don't know, like... a decade. I've had this thing for years. I love it. It is one of the most comfortable pieces of clothing that I own. My mother is constantly trying to convince me to throw it out, and others have less than subtly suggested that looks could use an update.

To this I reply, "Pfffffft."

I actually was complimented on it the other day by a Wendy's cashier. He asked which Old Navy I got it at, since he'd not seen one like it. I informed him that it was rather old, and they likely don't sell them in this style anymore.

"Why's the old stuff got to be so much better?" he asked.

Why, indeed.

Singles Night

2011-02-15T01:07:00.000-05:00

Well, another Valentine's Day come and gone. I had a conversation with someone recently about how I felt I wasn't able to "exude that boyfriend aura" - that difference in energy that makes me seem like a potential mate rather than just a really nice dude to hang out with. Cheev once told me it had something to do with how I just need to be... sexier... somehow. And he wasn't referring to my physical appearance (though, frankly, that could use some help, too). I've never gone to any kind of singles event, or speed dating or anything of the like. But I imagine it would've gone something like the above. I guess I'm just not wired to woo.

In any case, these days I find it fairly easy to ignore Valentine's Day. I don't even get riled up by all the Facebook statuses loaded with "omg i wuv uuuuuuu <3 <3 <3" bullshit (which, frankly, is terribly stupid and makes you look like a fool) that litter my newsfeed. Sure, Valentine's Day can be crassly commercial, and even disgustingly manipulative if you're in a relationship where one person uses it as a means to get things they want out of the other... I can see how it can be intensely painful for some (and at one point, it even was for me) or a reminder of liberation for others, but I can also see where it has some value.

It shouldn't be the one day a year when you express your love, but I see no problem with making a special day out of it. If you've been busy lately, haven't had time for a "date night" or whatever with your significant other, it provides a wonderful excuse for the two of you to do something.

I guess what I'm saying is, Valentine's Day need not be what Hallmark wants it to be, but that you should take it and make it your own... or not. It's all up to you in the end.

PS - By now you've noticed the last few strips have been in black and white, rather than color. There's a reason for it, nothing which really has to do with "Olympus Mans" itself, but rather with me and something I'm trying to move toward artistically. My "Valiant" graphic novel project needs me to be in a certain mindset, and doing bright colorful comics isn't part of that. I might call these strips as something of a practice run, trying out different black and white methods that I want to use in that project. I hope it doesn't bother anyone, and I don't think it's making the quality of these strips suffer in any way. So just bear with me on the black and white... it's probably going to be around for a while.

Plus, it's quicker and sometimes I do these strips late at night.

Super Bullshit XLV

2011-02-11T11:40:00.001-05:00

Srsly?

Normally, I don't give two shits about football except for that I'd like my home team to win out of some kind of, I dunno, local pride. Frankly, the game is simply over-complicated, stuffed far too full of meaningless rules and regulations that do nothing but glorify stats instead of just playing football. But once a year, we get the Super Bowl. Typically I enjoy the Super Bowl because of the food and the commercials, but working on Sundays means that now mostly the Super Bowl is background noise in the office at night.

This year I happened to catch the intro voiced by Hollywood heavyweight Michael Douglas. At first, this might seem like an impressive little bit of filmmaking, with lots of epic moments in American history set to dramatic music. But then you realize what's going on - Michael Douglas is comparing the sacrifices of American soldiers, the dreams of JFK and Martin Luther King Jr., the space race and more... to a football game.

"This is so much bigger than a football game," Douglas says.

No, Michael. I'm here to tell you... it's a fucking football game. This is no great moment of American history; it is an over-commercialized sporting event. The course of civilization is not changing, and nothing other than personal pride and gambling purses hinges on the outcome. Those other things, like JFK and the civil rights movements? Those were important parts of history, you know, things that impacted the lives of people around the world in ways that have holidays dedicated to them and get taught in history classes. That's not what happens with football games.

It's all part of the incredible level of self-importance that football has taken on in this country, from the professional level on down to high school programs that run roughshod over art and music budgets. Of course, if I were to go out and herald the publishing of a new comic book or release of a new movie as a momentous occasion in American history, I'd be laughed at publicly. I'm not Michael Douglas, or the organizers of the NFL. You know. I don't give a shit about a bunch of fat dudes chasing a ball around a field of grass. Whatever.

I can get into football, on occasion. I can let the energy of a crowd carry me. And I don't begrudge the folks that do genuinely enjoy it in a way that I don't... But this shit is just ridiculous. It's a game. I'm sure someone will think I'm the one taking this too seriously, but just think about that intro. Look at the huge differences between the first and second halves. Tell me you seriously think that the "journeys" of the Green Bay Packers and the Pittsburgh Steelers are worthy of being mentioned in the same breath as Martin Luther King Jr. If you can say it with a straight face, I might even believe you... but more likely I'm going to tell you that you're insane.

Rant over.

God is Dead to Me

2011-01-25T00:56:00.001-05:00

Newsflash: I hate snow. In particular, the last month has been pretty awful, with the northeast being pounded by storm after storm, and another on the way this week along with some of the coldest temperatures in the last few years.

This would be pretty unbearable in general, what with the hating snow, but what makes it even worse is the fact that the snow we've been getting isn't melting before more arrives. There are still heavy piles of snow several feet high on the side of every street, no longer a pretty white but instead a disgusting dirty mottled gray color. Not only is all this snow simply in our way, but it has to look nasty, too, like kicking a guy in the nuts when he's already down and crying.

A Prospectus

2011-01-19T13:50:00.000-05:00

"Olympus Mans," as one might guess, is rather time consuming. Because my other blog, "For Reelz," is a bit easier to manage (each post requires far less time and effort), it has sort of taken over as the dominant form of my online presence in the "blogosphere." Each "Olympus Mans" strip must be conceived (which is far harder than it would seem, especially considering the juvenile nature of some of the humor), then drawn, finished, and uploaded, and I usually like to write up a blurb related to why I did that particular strip.

2010 saw my interest and effort in "Olympus Mans" wane considerably, mostly due to these time constraints. I work a full-time job which puts a lot of stress on me, emotionally. Trying to find a new one has, so far, been rather fruitless. But I don't imagine that having such a time-consuming hobby will get any easier with any other full-time job. Even still, I want 2011 to be a year of rededication, and perhaps expansion.

So let's take a look at what I plan for "Olympus Mans" in the coming year. I think it's all kind of exciting, and hopefully you will, as well.

Firstly, Cheev and I have spoken briefly about the concept of an "Olympus Mans" podcast. Look for that sometime soon, because I'm sure you're all dying to download fancy MP3s of yours truly dishing about comics and other nerdly subjects (expect a lot of talk about science fiction, folks). So there's that.

Look for more integration between the Facebook page, "Olympus Mans," and "For Reelz." I'm going to be kind of merging things together, trying to get people going back and forth and the like. Hell, I might even re-embrace Twitter.

I'll be looking to do more multi-part storylines this year. I think the "Kung Fu Dinner" strips were a lot of fun, and a big personal success. Hopefully I won't overburden you guys with ninjas, but, well, it's hard to come up with anything cooler than ninjas, right? They're just so badass.

So, 2011. Big year. Exciting year. And please, tell me what you'd like to see out of "Olympus Mans" or "For Reelz," any interesting ideas you've got, any cool things you'd like to see. Don't be afraid to sound off in the comments on Facebook or on any of the actual blog posts. In fact, I encourage comments. Please, comment.

But I don't want to sound desperate or anything. Welcome to the new hotness.

QFT

2011-01-11T19:08:00.002-05:00

Don't even try to argue.

Har Har Har

2010-12-26T21:45:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I know... I'm looking at the date on this strip and it's a month ago that I started drawing it. I had my 10 year high school reunion just after Thanksgiving, and I thought that would be a fine place to mine some humor. So I started drawing it... and then I never finished.

My reunion went far better than this strip would initially suggest. The damn thing was open bar, which led to some pretty astonishing results later on. I wasn't going to go; I said to myself, "I really already see the people I want to see, right?" Or, that want to see me. That turned out to be somewhat inaccurate. But Jen and Staci insisted that I go, and y'know what, it was a damn good time. And it was the start of what I'll call a Damn Good Month.

Cheev showed up for a short time, but he left because he was feeling ill. It's too bad; I really do enjoy seeing him, and I wish he didn't live so far away these days. But our lives go in different directions. Of course, he still managed to leave me with a big bag of comics, as he always does. I had to find fault with "Iron Man: Noir" because, well, it's not noir - it's clearly a pulp adventure serial, but I guess since Marvel has no separate line for such things, it had to get crammed under the "Noir" heading. I'm also liking "Sam and Twitch: The Writer" even though some of it bugs me. Oh well.

Motivational Speaking / Memory Lapse

2010-11-05T01:19:00.000-04:00

Yeah, so, I didn't make it with the original Halloween strip I had the idea for. Things have been really shitty at work lately; I got switched to some truly douchetastic hours (the ones I had originally when I got this job that I fought hard to change). There's nothing like feeling truly non-valued at your place of work. No one seems to give a shit what I think about anything, and each day becomes an exercise in frustration.

Frankly, it makes me lose the motivation to do the things that I love - like this strip. But I always feel better when I force myself to do it.

I'm not really a fan of this strip (am I ever?) but it was a quickie that I did tonight, just because I knew I needed to do something. Hopefully I can get some real good strips going. I feel like things have been pretty weak lately, with the exception of the "Kung Fu Dinner" series, which, y'know, is fucking awesome.

CDs, how quaint

2010-10-08T11:50:00.000-04:00

Not having some fancy interface or simple input device in my car, I'm reliant on the good ol' compact disc (aka "CD") to listen to the music I want to listen to in my car. Sure, I could use the even more ol'fashioned "radio," but there's not a lot of fun in that considering most stations seem to play the same six or seven songs every hour, punctuated by about 20 minutes of obnoxious commercials.

And frankly, I just can't listen to talk radio. Sorry, NPR.

Anyhow, I realized the other day that the majority of the CDs in my car are burned discs (I keep the originals neatly packed away at home, away from danger) and that a number of them I didn't bother to label. For a moment, I was frustrated by this, because at the time I was looking for a particular CD and wasn't able to find it. Quickly inserting and removing discs while stopped at red lights can get obnoxious after just a few tries. So ultimately what ends up happening is whatever is in my player when the light turns green is what I'll leave on, and I'm usually pretty happy with that choice.

Y'know, until I realize I've put in "The Lonely Island" and Natalie Portman is suddenly screaming about getting head on the highway and ramming various footwear up my ass.

Or maybe it's like the time I was stopped next to a funeral procession with Metallica's "Creeping Death" playing viciously loud with the windows down. Y'know. Something like that.

Kung-Fu Dinner: Continuity Errors

2010-09-28T23:14:00.000-04:00

Y'know, I got some flak regarding the color of the girl's shirt in the first Kung-Fu Dinner strip. Apparently, most females wouldn't wear a pink shirt with a red bag. My ultimate explanation, that the color of the bag and the color of the shirt were decided upon independently of each other and had more to do with contrasting the background than anything else apparently didn't fly. I thought, of course, that this would be a good joke to play on for the final strip... except that I already knew what the punchline of the final strip would be.

Fortunately, I'm okay with having multiple layers of jokes in "Olympus Mans."

Kung Fu Dinner: Part Five: The End: Part One

2010-09-28T23:10:00.000-04:00

Yeah, special double post tonight since I failed to do so last week. I lost the original scan for this strip somehow, and I'm home sick today so I couldn't re-scan it. So this strip here is done entirely with the Wacom tablet, but again, I'm not particularly pleased with the results. The next strip, which had an underlying physical pencil drawing, I'm much more happy about. Oh well.

Kung-Fu Dinner, Numero Tres

2010-09-09T00:31:00.000-04:00

Ah, the "your mom" joke... When I was in college, I picked up this particular method of, er, "humor" from my friend Keith who lives down in Pennsylvania.

The rules are fairly simple. Person A says something, then Person B escalates it by taking a noun from the original statement and returning it to Person A in the form of "I'll give you a _____!"

Here's where it gets interesting. Person A (or perhaps Person C) escalates it further by taking that same noun and replying in the form of "I gave your mom a ______ last night!"

There was a time when this was, sadly, one of the most popular jokes amongst my circle of friends. We were at this day and night, coming up with every godawful variation of it we could think of. "I gave your mom a rare steak last night!" "I drove your mom to the bank last night!"

Someone even came up with "I did not enter your mom last night!" after seeing a "Do Not Enter" sign at the bank.

In any case, it eventually faded from favor, though occasionally, someone will resurrect it for nostalgia's sake. Still, immediately after I finished last week's strip, I knew that this joke was where this week's strip was going to go.

If you're wondering how much longer this will go on: exactly two strips, which will come in quick succession so we can all get back to the more standard absurdity you all crave from "Olympus Mans."

Kung-Fu Dinner, Part Deux

2010-08-27T18:57:00.000-04:00

A few years ago when we lived at Olympus, Cheev commissioned me to write and draw a comic of himself as a superhero whose powers were based upon his own self confidence. That is, the more he believed in himself, the stronger and more invulnerable he was. It took forever, but eventually I got something like six or seven pages of Cheev in a lengthy martial arts battle with some kind of evil-doer, which he had printed, framed and which hung in the hallway of our apartment. If you ever visited Olympus, you've seen this thing. I might, somewhere, still have the digital files. Or Cheev might. Maybe if we can find them, I'll post them up on this site for everyone to check out.

Anyway, after last week's Kung Fu Dinner strip, I realized that I had an opportunity here to do essentially the same thing for myself... only (no offense to Cheev) a lot cooler, since I have a lot more nifty technology at my disposal for cool effects and whatnot. Here, I'm definitely becoming a lot more adept at using the Intuos4 tablet (which I'm sure you're all sick of me blagging about by now), so there's a bit more line work involved rather than just outlines and color detail.

Getting the tablet has, however, entirely rejuvenated my interest in "Olympus Mans" which, let's face it, had kinda been waning for a little while. I was having trouble coming up with ideas for strips, and long stretches of time were going between each one. But being able to play with this device, a lot more ideas have sprung to mind, and I'm actually enjoying drawing each one. The old process of using the mouse and pen tool had grown a bit arduous.

This strip here was drawn on paper and scanned in rather than drawn entirely with the tablet, which I think is a good enough process for me at this point. I'm still much more comfortable doing my initial drawings on pencil and paper rather than going 100% digital.

Kung-Fu Dinner

2010-08-21T00:43:00.002-04:00

I had dinner with a friend the other night (on one of those few, awesome occasions when I'm out of work early enough to see people on a weeknight) and we were having ourselves a grand ol' time when she excused herself to use the rest room. I don't know if she reads these strips or not; I've never actually asked her about it. She may not even know it exists.

Anyway, when she returned, for some reason that I'm not entirely certain of, I threw out this line about how somebody had tried to take her bag while she was in the bathroom, but I used my considerable Kung-Fu skillz to ward them off. She thanked me for braving such danger to protect her belongings.

Ultimately, she went to the restroom again, and when she returned, totally unprompted, I announced that I had once again fended off a group of assailants, and added that I was very upset that I was forced to use my Kung Fu in public. How that made any sense in my brain at the time is totally beyond me.

I guess I'm a hero. What can I say?

On the artistic front, this strip was once again made using my new Wacom Intuos4 tablet. Now I'm still getting used to it, but my abilities with it are clearly improving by leaps and bounds. I think this might end up being one of the better computer investments I've made. I've wanted one of these for a long time, a way to integrate both my love of hand-drawn art and the digital effects world, and now I've got it and I'm supremely pleased with the results. I think it'll ultimately be extremely useful for developing the style I have in mind for "The Valiant" project that I teased last week.

You'll see what I mean when I start putting up a bit more art from that project, but the tone I'm going for is predicated entirely on it looking a bit more "rough" than "Olympus Mans" has been. Even this strip, as it is, is a bit too "clean" for what I have in mind there. You can see even in the strip above, most of the detail is achieved using colors, shadows and highlights with a minimum of line work. I think that'll end up being the key difference.

The World's Gone Wacom

2010-08-17T00:31:00.000-04:00

Well this past weekend was the Massachusetts sales tax holiday. Instead of paying 6.25%, I paid 0% sales tax. What did I purchase? I bit the bullet and got the Wacom Intuos4 Professional Graphics Tablet.

It certainly takes some getting used to, as you can see from this week's strip, which was drawn and colored entirely in Photoshop CS4 for the first time in this strip's history. No paper was used in the creation of this strip, just my aging Macbook Pro! I may not be proud of how this strip looks. In fact, it's kinda downright fugly. But I am proud of how it was created, and I'm glad that I'm taking this step forward, which I think will allow me to really do some amazing things once I get the hang of using this tablet.

It's a strange feeling, working on the Intuos4. When drawing on paper, obviously, I'm looking right where my hand is, and seeing the pencil drawing across the page. Working on the tablet, I have to look up at my computer monitor, which, so far, feels somewhat alien. Still, by the time I finished this strip, I felt like I already had a much better grasp of how this whole thing works than when I first plugged the tablet in on Saturday afternoon.

It can only get better from here, right?

That's my hope. I also plan on using the tablet to ink and paint "The Valiant," which I teased in last week's post. So the clean lines that you see in the teasers probably aren't the final art style, but I think it's highly indicative of how it'll eventually look. I'm hoping to put together a test page soon to put up, so people can check it out and continue to get excited for this project that, frankly, has been rattling around in my head since... well... like 2003.

Teasers

2010-08-12T13:30:00.000-04:00

I Get the Greatest Voicemails

2010-08-02T18:14:00.003-04:00

Cheev's voicemails are legendary. He'll essentially run through the entire conversation he meant to have with you, but in message form. I don't get too many of those, but it's happened. This is a message of a different type, and it came from someone other than Cheev, but I felt it was comic-worthy just the same.

Lady Gag(a)

2010-07-27T22:08:00.000-04:00

Effective openers

2010-07-08T20:44:00.000-04:00

I'm at work the other day, and almost bump into a coworker as he's coming out of the bathroom. I say, "Hey, what's up?"

He replies, "Nothin' much. Just got done shittin'."

I mean, seriously. Obviously, it's not like I can say I didn't ask for it. And it's not like he wasn't being truthful.

But man, bizarre.

Ah, summer...

2010-06-27T21:29:00.001-04:00

Summer time is here once again. My roommate bought a brand-spankin' new grill ("The best grill available under $200!") And we've gotten some excellent use out of it so far. Personally, I prefer to use charcoal. Sure, it's a lot messier and a lot slower, but there's something more honest and earthy about it. It feels more like cooking on a real fire rather than just one an outdoor stove.

Still, I enjoy entertaining. I love having people over and being able to throw some burgers on that bad boy, pop open a few beers and have us a good time. In the winter, things are a little different (for New Years Eve, I did breakfast for dinner featuring pancakes, eggs and bacon). But summer time is without a doubt, one of my favorite times of year. At my new apartment, I've managed to become quite accustomed to sitting out on the deck and reading or drawing, which is something that can't really be done in the winter. Also, I didn't have a porch this past winter, so, bonus.

On another note, I think this strip looks like ass. I'm clearly out of practice with this, and that bothers the crap out of me. I spent the afternoon today just sketching different facial expressions for these characters, trying to get back into a groove with them, and I'm not particularly proud of the results.

A Matter of Opinion

2010-05-24T18:03:00.000-04:00

SPOILERS TO FOLLOW.

Last night was the final episode of ABC's "Lost." As expected, it's generating a great deal of controversy and debate, much like the final episode of HBO's "The Sopranos." People are disappointed that the show didn't spoon-feed them answers to various questions regarding nitpicky details about the island. I can understand this, as, frankly, the physical nature of island remains a complete mystery. There is no explanation for the existence of a mysterious shaft of light that must be protected, why it's corked with an engraved stone inside an obviously man-made shallow pool. No explanation for the various ancient ruins around the island (a statue of an Egyptian goddess with only four toes?) and a host of other things.

What we do get are answers to questions like, what does this all mean to these characters? It's a finale concerned with plot and emotional and thematic closure. We finally find out what's going on with the 'sideways universe' (it's the afterlife!) and that, of course, ties into all the flashbacks we'd seen throughout the seasons. People wondered what the point of all these were, and it's become obvious that these were meant to show us how the time spent on the island was helping people there let go and move on. We've been told numerous times over the years that the island has incredible healing properties; most of the time we saw this as people recovering quickly from injuries, or in the case of John Locke, giving him back his ability to walk. But, as it turns out, the island's ability to heal is much more than that - each of these people ends up better off than when they started... even if they ended up dead.

The final moments of the episode are left a bit open-ended, but that's another thing that just doesn't particularly matter. People will be asking questions like, 'What happened after that plane landed?' But what difference does that make? We're told that "everyone dies," and that's really all you should need. It's like that Rolling Stones song; you might want every last question you could ever ask answered... but you don't need it. At the end of the day, this story was about the people, not about the island. I gave up on looking for those kinds of answers years ago.

Then the show ends the same way it began - Jack Shephard lying in the bamboo field, looking up at the sky. And it also ends with him reunited with all of the people he cares about, the people that mattered most to him on that island, and people who mattered to each other. What they went through on that island was so profound for them that they remained connected to each other, even after death. Seeing all these characters together and truly happy is powerful and compelling.

So that's my interpretation of it. Yours may differ.

He really can.

2010-04-27T21:07:00.000-04:00

I recently had an opportunity to visit Jess and Dave out in Kahleeforneeah (California). While there, we visited a cartoon art museum that had amazing displays of cartoon and comic art from across the centuries. One entire exhibit was devoted to Batman, my favorite comic hero. I could have taken every single piece from this museum home and put it on my wall, especially the Samurai art and the Batman exhibit. They were frakkin awesome.

A month late, a hundred bucks short

2010-04-12T00:48:00.000-04:00

Yeah, it's totally been like a month since the last "Olympus Mans," which is unforgivable and unfortunate. I guess my attention got diverted to other places, and when I returned with an idea... I couldn't make it work out. I guess I haven't been in the zone. My artistic endeavors have gone in a different direction for the past month, working on the graphic novel project and a portrait, and doing a lot of writing, and frankly, my movie/TV review blog "For Reelz" sort of started to take precedence.

This strip... this strip pissed me off. I had a grand idea for it. It was going to be slick and cool, and funny, but frankly, I just couldn't make it work. I started over on the coloring at least three times, and was never satisfied with how it was coming out. I attempted to start with the rain and lightning effects for the background, and those were terrible, too.

And so I beg forgiveness from my poor readers. I'm sorry; this one just wasn't happening. So here it is, as complete as it will ever get. I hope you still enjoy it in some fashion, and know that "Olympus Mans" is back. Soon, it will be back with a vengeance, but for right now it's just back in general.

Inspired by true events

2010-03-16T21:39:00.000-04:00

Just imagine Cheev's line said with a bizarre southern drawl.

For Great Justice...

2010-03-08T19:42:00.000-05:00

This week's strip was sort of written by committee via the "Olympus Mans" Facebook page. And that's okay. I hadn't considered doing a strip about film director Kevin Smith's recent run-in with Southwest Airlines. This is not the first time that this has happened, of course. There was a big stink when Southwest's plus-sized passenger policy first came to public light years ago.

But this time, they have Kevin Smith to deal with. Now, Smith himself will admit that he is not a small man. He's not morbidly obese like my boss, but he can fit in an airline seat (although how ANYONE fits in an airline seat is beyond me in general). That he was treated rudely by the flight staff is just plain terrible. Even if Kevin Smith were a regular joe-blow instead of a famous movie director (I'd like to thank him personally for "Clerks", "Chasing Amy" and "Dogma", three of my favorites) this would simply be unacceptable.

So when I asked the OM Hive-Mind what this week's strip should be about, the thread eventually spit out something along the lines of "Kevin Smith fighting snakes on a plane".

Well, here it is.

I won't lie... It's a movie I'd go to see. Hopefully Sam Jackson would make a cameo appearance, for continuity's sake.

(Also, Mr. Smith, if you ever read this, I hope you like it and don't sue me into oblivion. Same goes for Southwest...)

Well holy crap... Look at the time

2010-02-18T21:31:00.001-05:00

"Olympus Mans" is one year old. Our first strip was posted February 20, 2009. The Badass Scanner is something Cheev and I had joked about a long time when we lived in Olympus; a device mounted on the door that would allow us to discern just who was badass enough to enter our home. It's definitely a device I wish really existed, because I know a lot of people that would get the green light. These are people that are tremendously important to me, even if I've only known them a short time.

There are a number of people who deserve thanks for making "Olympus Mans" a one-year success. Cheev, firstly, for providing the inspiration for so many strips, and for generally being a really awesome friend. Jackie, for listening to me ramble on and on about wanting to do this project, and then for offering a number of suggestions on where to host it and answering questions about the web and web marketing (sadly few of which I've actually done anything with, but that's my problem and not her's). Jess, for being a constant supporter and promoter of the strip.

I don't know what the future holds, except for a strip about Italian sausage next week. But I do know that "Olympus Mans" has been a lot of fun, and I sincerely hope that people are having just as much fun reading it as I have making it.

Flight Delays

2010-02-14T21:37:00.000-05:00

I struggled with a Valentine's Day themed strip for a while before giving up and deciding to just continue on with the Mans' flight home from California. It was obvious to me that I couldn't shoe-horn some random new girlfriend into the mix and have it feel natural in any way. Probably my own feelings regarding Valentine's Day these days was getting in the way of coming up with any kind of great, romantic idea.

I used to be able to rock Valentine's Day like you wouldn't believe. These days, I'd rather just go out with some ridiculous people that I know and have a great night driving all over the county for sushi, beer, canolis and pancakes, a Ramones cover band (that we didn't even end up seeing) and eventually more beer and dancing.

There's definitely room for a strip in all that, but not one that's romantic or related to Valentine's Day in any way.

So I'll just say that for those of you out there who enjoy this day, congratulations and I hope it's a good one. For the rest of us, tomorrow is Presidents Day.

Fly The Little-Bit-Too-Friendly Skies

2010-02-08T19:29:00.000-05:00

So the Mans' trip to California is coming to a close. They didn't really do much there, and that's probably my fault. I didn't plan out this storyline... In fact, I rarely plan out any storyline. It's probably my greatest weakness as a writer is that I have this tendency to simply make shit up as I go along and hope something intelligible comes out on the other end. A lot of times, it works out. A lot of times, it doesn't. The file folders filled with incomplete ideas that make up my Documents folder is a testament to that!

But it's okay, right?

"Olympus Mans" is a year old now - Expect special anniversary-type posts in the next couple of weeks!

If at first you don't succeed...

2010-01-29T15:03:00.001-05:00

One of the things I've been really looking forward to when the weather gets warmer is surfing again. Of course, in certain parts of the world... it's always warm. Hm...

You sit on it, but you can't (not) take it with you

2010-01-21T19:38:00.002-05:00

California's alright....

2010-01-14T18:19:00.003-05:00

Winter needs to end, ASAP. Still, I'm looking forward to my eventual jaunt to the West Coast this year. Try it on for size, see how it fits. Maybe I'll run away forever. People keep telling me to do it, and I don't usually like to bow to peer pressure, but on this issue...

I do really have a 'writing career' that I should get moving on. My hard drive is loaded with stuff I should be sending out every which way to people who will read it and pay me money for it. I managed to do it once before, but I'm so averse to taking chances with my life that even mailing something I want to sell seems like a risky chore. That's one of the things I keep telling myself, year after year, that I'm going to change and I never do. But it's 2010 now, and it's time to kick some ass.

QFT

2010-01-05T21:20:00.003-05:00

The new year is often cited as a time for change or renewal. While I dig this concept, I can't say I'm particularly good at it. Resolutions never seem to stick, and I realize I'm very much not alone in this. But whatever. It's tradition, right? Sort of like watching Dick Clark on New Year's Eve... no matter how painful it may be.

Next year, I swear to god, I'm not watching Dick Clark. That's my friggin' resolution.

All that aside, welcome to a new year of Olympus Mans. We're coming up on our one year anniversary, too, if you can believe that! Cheers.

Another time unit has expired

2009-12-31T16:37:00.003-05:00

So we've come to the end of another year, my friends. I have no comic for this. This blog post is purely words, which, I'm sure will turn some of you completely off.

2009 was a strange year, filled with some incredibly good times, and some times that just damn straight ruined my weekend. I lost some people, reconnected with others, as I'm sure happens to everyone. That, more than anything, seems to me to be the benefit of this connected world that I've written about before. It's easy now for me to get to know people that I'd left behind years ago, discover that they have something to share with me that I hadn't seen before.

It's also another year for me to begin recognizing my advancing age. As I head into the twilight of my 20s, seeing so many of my friends getting married, buying houses, generally becoming the adults we all sort of dread becoming... I think to myself, "Where am I, in this grand scheme?"

Indeed, WHAT grand scheme? Is there one? I love my apartment, and I feel a general contentment with a lot of the facets of my life at the end of 2009. Sure, my job sucks, but it gives me an almost endless supply of horrid jokes to tell people about my boss. I could go off on an incredible, profanity-laced rant like you wouldn't believe on this subject. But overall, the point is... my life is pretty good.

I'm not poor, or starving. I have money to buy myself nice things (good lord, Blu-Ray is so effing awesome). I have surrounded myself with a good group of people who I care about and who I'm sure care about me.

And for all the things people say about the new year bringing change, all the talk of doing things differently in the coming months, my friendships are the one thing I want to stay exactly the same.

Happy new year, everyone.

NeuralPedia - 'Snow'

2009-12-07T19:14:00.008-05:00

Forgive me if this seems harsh: I fucking hate snow. This stuff is absolutely freaking retarded. Pure, white, frozen obnoxiousness falls from the freaking sky because nature hates us. Snow serves no purpose other than to disrupt human life in the most uncomfortable, irritating ways possible. It is a hindrance to nearly ever facet of human society as we know it. People can't drive in it for shit. It indiscriminately buries and destroys things we value. IT CAN KILL US.

Sure, it looks 'pretty'. Just like that hot chick you see screaming at the teenager behind the counter at Starbucks that her mocha whatever isn't venti enough. Sure, she's hot as hell, but spending any time with her would be an extraordinarily terrible experience.

Underneath it all, everyone knows they hate snow, too. People will say otherwise. But think about it. What's so great about snow, you ask. There's lots of talk about how great it is to go out in the snow and do various things, but inevitably, you're told how great it is to come back in out of the snow to warm up. So, basically, the reason people love snow is so to end up somewhere they already were, only now they're cold, wet, and possibly dead. Or they say how much they can't wait for it to snow, then bitch about having to dig their cars out from under that useless frozen shit they love so much.

Snow is a blindfold job. It's like in the movies when someone gets a black bag put over their head, and then gets the shit beaten out of them by the bad guys. Now is the time to fight back, however. Humans have developed a weapon against the snow: it is Global Warming.

And it is amazing.

I'm Dreaming of a Violent X-Mas

2009-12-04T15:54:00.002-05:00

There seemed to be a time back in the 1990s when everything was all about X-Treme. I think it's a fad that (mostly) died, and with good reason. Forgive me when I say, I think the term "X-Mas" is just friggin' retarded.

The Future is Now...ish

2009-11-30T18:48:00.004-05:00

Well, the time finally came, Olympus Fans... I had to get a new cell phone. The old one, that I'd had since 2003, finally shit the bed. I mean, this thing was worn, cracked open, and full of sand from various beach excursions over the last two years. I had no text messaging, which was apparently a source of consternation for various friends of mine.

As it turns out, people in the 21st century hate talking to each other, which is somewhat ironic considering how many new forms of communication we have. It's very strange to me to meet someone who spends $70 a month on a phone, and then balks at receiving calls on it. But phones are so much more than just phones these days.

Now you can surf the web, watch movies, play games, and yes, even get your porn via cellular phone.

I don't particularly enjoy text messaging. I can see it being useful in certain situations, but having entire conversations with it is cumbersome, slow and kind of annoying. Of course, as soon as I announced to people that I had it, the thing started buzzing off the hook. (Another thing I don't like: Ringtones. My phone stays on vibrate at all times unless I'm in the car or it's on the charger.) That said, I'm a person who adapts. If my friends want to text, so be it. I'll text.

Just don't expect me to like it.

All Secrets Known

2009-11-12T21:11:00.002-05:00

"It's been a long road, gettin' from there to here." Yeah, that's right, I quoted that terrible, terrible fucking song. But it was appropriate - I'm sorry it took me so long to get this far with this storyline. It's the big reveal - the villain of the piece.

Stay tuned for more, next week, on an all new episode of "Olympus Mans". Same blog-time, same blog-channel!

The Waiting Game

2009-11-05T16:53:00.001-05:00

On the Z-List

2009-10-21T17:46:00.002-04:00

After recently joining Netflix, one of my first rentals was Warners' latest DC Animated venture, 'Superman/Batman: Public Enemies'. I was a fan of the original story arc this direct-to-video flick was adapted from... but not really so much of the movie. While it features the voice of the Greatest Batman There's Ever Been, as well as fan favorites Tim Daly as Superman and Clancy Brown as Lex Luthor, the script and, more importantly, the animation simply weren't up to par.

While I could deal with a less than perfect script (sad as it would be to waste such excellent vocal talent), the fact that the animation looked so cheap was really the dealbreaker here. I mean, who wants to watch Batman and Superman kick ass in such disappointing fashion? Let's not pretend like that's not the main goal of this flick - to present a series of scenes wherein these two giants of the comics industry, easily two of the most iconic and well-known fictional characters ever created, beat the living crap out of everyone and everything that gets in their way.

Oh well. Kevin Conroy is still the effing man. No actor, past or present, has managed to equal his work as the Dark Knight (sorry, Christian Bale. You're still awesome, though).

Word Up

2009-10-10T00:42:00.003-04:00

"Nothing I say about Dan Brown is harsh enough." This statement is entirely true. Whatever insults I could level on this man's infantile "novels" will never be funny or cutting enough to truly describe how awful they are. I've tried, on several occasions, to get into one of these turds... even made it all the way through one of them. At first, it seemed a moderately entertaining, if wholly empty, thriller. Then, around the middle of the book, it started turning into the literary equivalent of an Uwe Boll movie (notice the techno flashback to the entire scene YOU JUST WATCHED). Hearing about the astonishing success of his other novels such as "Angels and Demons" and "The da Vinci Code", I tried those as well.

Tried. Now, I'm the kind of guy that can watch the worst movies imaginable, and still have a good time BECAUSE of how bad they are. Hell, I've hosted entire parties on that premise. The last time through, we watched a movie that had Conquistador skeletons coming to life and killing campers in the desert... with shotguns. But trust me when I say, that movie was far more entertaining than anything Dan Brown has crapped out in his abysmally unwarranted "career".

Stephen Colbert had an excellent jab: "A million monkeys typing until the end of time will produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. Ten thousand monkeys typing for ten thousand years will write a Hemingway. Ten monkeys typing over Columbus Day weekend will give you a Dan Brown."

The problem there, though, is that I feel like we've also insulted the monkeys, and that makes me sad.

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

2009-10-02T12:49:00.002-04:00

Yeah, I really said it. I was on the phone with a funeral director at work, who said that things had been really slow for them. We hadn't published an obituary from them in well over a week, which is quite unusual as they're one of our biggest, most regular customers.

And then this fucking gem comes out of my mouth before I realize what I'm saying.

Awesome.

Now I'm on the quote wall at work.

The Gag-Line: Choose Wisely

2009-10-01T20:01:00.002-04:00

The Vile Temptress

2009-09-22T21:10:00.002-04:00

Yeah, that's right... I got my first credit card. After dialing the activation number and going through all the steps, the operator asked me if I had any questions, and I said, "What's the limit on this card?"

"Sir, it's $2,000."

"..."

"Sir, are you there?"

"Uh... Yeah. Thanks."

I figured on having, I don't know, a $500 limit for my first credit card, mayyyyybe $1000. But $2000? Ridiculous. Who thought that was a smart idea?

Of course, I've already started spending. There's really nothing like having 35-some-odd hours of high-definition 'Star Trek' waiting for you at home.

California's alright

2009-09-16T22:56:00.003-04:00

Here it is, the winner of the second "Olympus Mans" Facebook fan participation contest - Boud. Cheev told me a bit about his visit to Boud out in California recently, and Boud had some of the best responses to the question. So props to him.

The other part of this strip is that Cheev has... interesting stories regarding women. Well, Cheev just has interesting stories, regardless. I think he has a good talent for coming up with a ridiculous slant to just about anything - and that includes telling me about how he sat on a couch and played Sudoku on Boud's giant TV.

Oh, the insanity!

2009-09-11T14:33:00.003-04:00

The god-damn Batman. This week I've been practically addicted to the Dark Knight's latest (and, by far, greatest) videogame endeavor "Batman: Arkham Asylum". Put simply, this game is excellent. You play as Batman, trapped inside Arkham Asylum by the Joker, who has released the inmates and taken hostages. You've got to deal with gun-toting thugs, straight-jacket maniacs, and, of course, Batman's spectacular rogues gallery of villains including Bane, Killer Croc and Poison Ivy.

The gameplay is stellar - Batman has a host of moves and gadgets that can be used to get the drop on and defeat his enemies. Batarangs, explosive gel, wireless computer hacking devices ... all of it used to make your way through the extensive corridors, vents, caves and sewage systems of the asylum. Batman's statistics can be upgraded by defeating enemies and earning XP - you can buy new armor, upgrade your devices and combat moves as you progress through the game.

Beyond the main line, there's a bunch of extra material to keep you coming back. Sprinkled throughout the Asylum's maze of offices, libraries and other areas are 'patient interview tapes', character profiles, and Riddler Challenges (which ask you to solve simple riddles in order to find a trophy). There are also Challenge Rooms, where you must use your combat or predatory skills to take out a room full of baddies - either by simple brawling through several rounds, or being timed and using stealth.

Probably one of the biggest bonuses, though, at least for me, is the voice cast of the game. As amazing as the recent Christian Bale movies have been, nothing really approaches the cast of the 90s animated series, with Kevin Conroy as Batman and Mark Hammill as Joker. These two simply nail it, and hearing them back again (along with Arleen Sorkin as Harley Quinn) is a pleasure. The 90s animated series is, without a doubt in my mind, the finest incarnation of these characters. Doesn't get any better.

I get by with a little help

2009-09-08T21:11:00.003-04:00

It occurs to me that I have some pretty amazing friends. I came up with this comic a few weeks ago. It was drawn, and sat languishing since then because I've been so wiped at work, because of work, and so on and so forth. That's the reason for the break in "Olympus Mans" the last couple of weeks - I've been flat out exhausted.

This comic, originally, meant to say something about the difference between living with Cheev and living with my current roommates. Not that there's anything wrong with what I've got going on now, but, let's face it - I've known Cheev for about half our lives now. There's a bond there, one where we have this totally easy friendship, one where I can fire off an email and expect a response in fairly short order. One where there's a comforting sense from his presence, in the way that I could come home from work and find him on the couch watching a movie and I could just grab a beer and hop on in and we could have a discussion about John McClane or "Jericho" or TNG.

Then I had a really crappy couple of weeks, and I noticed that the comic still worked for more than just Cheev. It works for people who are available over IM while I'm home in the mornings. It works for people who want me to draw logos for their business ideas. It works for people who look for jobs for me without telling. It works for people who make plans for lunch before work. And it works for people who come over randomly at 11 at night and listen to me bitch about my problems. It just works.

So this strip is for my friends. You rock.

And the winner(s) is(are)...

2009-08-20T17:34:00.002-04:00

Well this was the first time I tried to drum up participation both here and on our Facebook page by having a little contest. I asked everyone to post silly lines, and the winner would be featured in tonight's strip. Of course, I didn't really think this through - I didn't realize that I could, in fact, string together a bunch of them into a sort of loose, utterly ridonkulous conversation.

But I did. So to Jess G. , Staci, Jess E., Sandra, and Leia - congrats.

I don't believe Cheev and I ever got into any kind of dustup like this. Though, I'm fairly certain that interpretive dance would actually have been suggested as a method of solving it. Cheev and I have discussed his sluttiness at length, and the differences between his approach toward women and my own. Cheev, readily, admits that he's a slut. I admit, readily, that I am not.

Week from Hell

2009-08-17T21:26:00.002-04:00

So everyone that knows me well enough has heard me complain about my particular troubles at work. Man, last weak just freakin' wrecked me. My stress level went through the roof, which is why having as amazing a weekend as I had was so welcome! Weddings, birthday parties, and another beach excursion totally recharged my batteries in every way.

This strip was drawn last week, but I didn't get around to inking and coloring it until tonight. So there'll be a special three strips this week, including tomorrow the winner of the Facebook contest! Stay tuned.

Making a Splash

2009-08-11T22:43:00.002-04:00

The summer of 2009 has been one of the best times of my life so far. Earlier this year I made a vow, a particular promise to myself and those around me that a new "me" was going to emerge this year, that I was finally going to grow up and start living this life the way I've wanted to for a long time. Of course, this seemed a daunting task simply on the fact that it's such a nebulous goal to have.

How does one shape oneself into something new and better? Why doesn't the "before" status quo work? There's been a lot of soul searching, a lot of time spent alone, mostly on the couch, feeling kind of miserable and watching TV, thinking to myself, "What the fuck have I done lately?"

And really, that was the key: I hadn't DONE anything. My life had gotten to a point where it had simply stagnated. I would get up in the morning, watch TV, eat something and go to work, come home, go to bed and do it all again the next day. Weekdays bled into each other, and I was frequently losing track of what day it was because they were all the same - and not in a good way. I didn't feel good about myself in this mode; who could?

And so as I finally figured out, I needed to DO something. This began with simply returning to the gym, on a daily and regular basis. I had a membership I was squandering. But simply being more physically active wasn't enough for what I wanted to do, what I wanted to become.

"Olympus Mans" has been a big part of this transformation. In fact, it was one of the first steps I took, earlier this year. Now it's been up and running for months and even though I haven't smoothed out all the kinks, I'm going to call it, so far, a personal success. Sure, I'm still fiddling with art styles and there are features I'd like to add (maybe even generate some revenue?) but none of that matters.

My mysterious comic book project is another part. I knew I had to dedicate myself to the things I wanted to do, and how I wanted to be. Particularly inspired by a person I know (you know who you are, and how grateful I am), I needed to grab ahold of things that interest me and push myself to their limits. I needed to throw myself toward hobbies and projects, with gusto, with energy and produce something.

So now, as my clothes slowly but surely fit better, as I go on trips to the beach to learn how to surf (and save towards my own board for next summer), as I write and draw out my epic vision... I realize just how good it finally feels to be me.

And this, finally, brings us to the subject of tonight's comic strip. As I've become more energized over the last couple months, one of the things I've wanted to change about myself is that I'm often very frightened, so much so that it often paralyzes me when I need to do something or make some kind of decision. I'm still working on this.

I have a particular fear of heights. I don't like going near the edges of tall buildings or cliffs, and I don't particularly enjoy climbing on things. When we were camping in Vermont a few weeks ago, the opportunity presented itself for us to jump out of a tree into the lake we were visiting. This scared the shit out of me, but I climbed the tree, and I jumped. It seemed to take forever to hit the water below, but my friends were there, cheering me on. And I jumped multiple times, conquering the fear of heights (mostly - I decided not to climb up to the higher branch).

So forgive the length of this post. But it was all things that needed to be said and this, after all, is my fucking blog. And to the people out there that know what I'm doing this year and have helped me along the way (and continue to do so on a regular basis), thank you again, sincerely and deeply.

Like a Stray

2009-08-06T00:41:00.002-04:00

I love camping. Now, I hadn't been in an extremely long time - roughly a decade or so. So maybe I should say, instead, I USED TO love camping... Having spent the better part of my formative years in the Boy Scouts (making it all the way to Eagle, hell yeah) I've spent my fair share of time in the woods. We'd always been pretty minimalist when we went, too - You've got your tent, your sleeping bag, a backpack full of clothes, a few toiletries (toothpaste, toothbrush, deodorant, not much else) and some light cooking gear.

Camping with my friends was, to say the least, an entirely different experience. And not really just because I got really drunk off of Jackie's sangria Saturday night. My friends are setting up these huge tents, blowing up AIR MATTRESSES, bringing propane grills when there's a perfectly good fire... the campsite has flushing toilets and (gasp) SHOWERS!

Now, to me, the point of camping is to rough it. To do without all your luxuries for a couple of days, to come back smelling like smoke and tree sap and all that other fun stuff. If you're going to be bringing your air mattress and cooking on a stove... what's the point? I can do that shit at home, man.

But who am I to judge, because we had an awesome time. Sure, it rained all day Friday and I'm 99.9% sure that the Harpoon Brewery tour guide chick sucked at giving tours. But Saturday was gorgeous. More on Saturday in the next strip - THE TREE!

But until then... here's to spending the weekend with great friends, out in the woods! Cheers.

The Look

2009-07-30T22:37:00.002-04:00

Of course, if you HAVEN'T seen 'Battlestar Galactica', then this maybe makes not a lot of sense to you. Unless, of course, you're familiar with Edward James Olmos' OTHER works.

And if you haven't... what the fuck is wrong with you?

Gag-Line: Is that a snake in your pants or are you just a terrible driver?

2009-07-28T17:28:00.003-04:00

Born of the Fires of Mt. Awesome...

2009-07-23T22:13:00.003-04:00

I love to grill. It's one of my favorite summertime activities. Burgers and dogs just taste better when they're grilled, damn it. Now, growing up, my parents always had a gas grill. These are simple to use, of course - just push a button and suddenly there's burning gas. Never really had a problem with it.

But I dig grilling on charcoal. Don't really know why, it just has a very different feel and taste to me. Of course, I have a long history of screwing up things with charcoal grills. At a party in Beverly, I burnt off some of the hair on my arm reaching through flames that were taller than I am coming out of our grill on the third-floor balcony.

Just the other day I attempted, stupidly, to cook bacon on the grill and ended up wasting nearly a pound of it as the flames came a-roaring up from the grease dripping onto the coals. Smart, Ben. Real smart.

And, of course, I always think of that time at Keith's place in New Hampshire, with a bunch of us failing to light a grill and his father asked us, "How many college degrees does it take to start a fire?" (or words to that effect)

Here's to summer.

W-w-w-w-w-w-wipeout!

2009-07-20T21:27:00.003-04:00

That's essentially how it went.

Though I'm told that how I did wasn't too bad, for what was essentially a first time. At first I couldn't even get on the board, but by the end of the day I'd caught a few waves lying down and had some pretty decent balance.

What struck me the most (besides what an insane workout it is) was the sense of POWER. Power flowing all around you, and when you catch a wave, THROUGH you. Power that you feel like you could reach out and control. What an utterly exhilarating experience. "100% pure adrenaline."

Oh, what also struck me was the bottom of the frakkin' ocean.

Phone Tag

2009-07-15T20:00:00.003-04:00

I remembered the other day about an extensive phone message that B-Ko had left for Cheev back when we lived at Olympus while I was discussing comic ideas with Cheev. The majority of these strips have been at least loosely based on stuff that really happened or conversations that we've really had.

But remembering about B-Ko's message got me thinking about the current state of communication between people. Now, I'll admit that I'm pretty much addicted to new media shit like Facebook and Twitter ("Olympus Mans" has a Facebook page with nearly 60 fans, and I'm hoping you'll all send suggestions to get me up past 100). But it's interesting how much I miss "the good ol' days" of having an actual conversation on the phone with someone.

More and more, we seem to be confining our communication to the SMS-150-characters box. I'm not knocking this... Text messaging and Twitter are pretty cool things, regardless of the fact that I don't even have text messaging on my phone. But I always enjoy hearing a voice on the other end when I say something. Even if it's just "Hey, how're you doing?"

Or, y'know, "Where u at?"

PS. I considered attempting to write this entire post in txt spk, or maybe even 133t... but then I would've had to murderface myself.

TV edit

2009-07-10T00:06:00.004-04:00

Samuel L. Jackson was on Conan O'Brien the other night and they played a clip from the TV edit of "Snakes on a Plane". I've heard some amazing edits in my day:

Snakes on a Plane: "I've had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday-Friday plane!"
Die Hard: "Yippie ki yay, melon-farmer!"
Robocop: "I used to call the old man names. Iron-butt. Boner. One time, I even called him... air head."
The Big Lebowski: "This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps, Larry!"

What all this really made me do is think of all the ways I have to censor myself, in a variety of different arenas. It took me a long time to open up to the people at work and reveal my level of geekdom. Of course, in terms of the language I use in their presence when speaking, I get into far less trouble than I did, say, at my last job. But I digress.

It's weird, how I tend to set up these personas. I think they're sort of based on what I think people expect to see out of me. That is, I sort of tone my behavior around them based on what they think I am as opposed to how I really am myself. Is it that I'm merely adaptable, or is it that I'm so desperate to be liked in all circles that I'll mold myself to whatever other people want of me?

I promised myself that 2009 would be about changing myself, about coming out of this shell that I've built around myself so thick. "Olympus Mans" is part of that life-project. It's part of something I talked about in an email recently, about pushing forward and dedicating myself to the things I love to do, going places with my talents and my wants.

I have to try harder to be truly me.

I'm in trouble for this one

2009-07-08T00:18:00.001-04:00

It's time to add a few more characters to the lineup of "Olympus Mans." Obviously, Ben and Cheev are still the two mains, but look for a few more faces to pop up on a more regular basis from now on.

Fucking epic.

Gag-Line: GIANT ROBOTS

2009-07-06T20:05:00.003-04:00

Oh, the depravity!

2009-07-02T23:45:00.003-04:00

Yesterday evening at work, we received an odd report from one of our sports writers. He went downstairs to go get something to eat, and when he opened the door to the parking lot, it bumped into someone. Thinking that someone was hiding in the corner (the parking lot door is obscured from the street by the corner of the building and a loading dock) and taking a piss, he merely came back upstairs for a few minutes to wait it out instead of confronting someone.

When he went downstairs the second time and opened the door, he saw the horrid truth. The man hadn't been taking a piss.

He was taking a shit.

That's right. This man was defecating ON our parking lot door. The police, of course, took nearly half an hour to respond. I understand that it's a low priority call, but the police station is literally around the corner from our office. If they'd come even fifteen minutes after the call, they could've nabbed the guy, seeing as he was walking up and down our street with a giant grin on his face.

The depravity of this city is just astounding. I can't wait to leave it. Forever.

A bit melodramatic...

2009-06-30T21:30:00.004-04:00

I have strange dreams sometimes. And then I figure out how to turn something beautiful into a comic strip wherein I humiliate my comic-self.

EDIT: Close-up of the artwork in the first panel; you can see the digital brush strokes more clearly.

When the sun comes out, I'll go surfing

2009-06-24T18:25:00.002-04:00

I've been trying to learn how to surf for a year now.

That statement is both accurate and inaccurate. I want to learn, and Jackie gave me a single solid lesson last summer wherein I managed to have semi-balance whilst SITTING on the board, and rode one wave lying down. But that was a year ago, and while she has graciously offered to continue teaching me, it hasn't come together yet.

But maybe it'll turn out like that 'Brady Bunch' episode...

Bad Puns Don't Get Dates

2009-06-17T23:18:00.002-04:00

I love it when a plan comes together

2009-06-12T17:04:00.004-04:00

Often at night, I'm in bed with my laptop set up for some noise for me to fall asleep to. Most often, this noise is a TV show on hulu.com. Recently, I had been watching the 80's classic, "Knight Rider" starring David Hasselhoff and a really fucking awesome talking car.

Unfortunately, there's only one season of the show up at the site. So, looking for something in a similar vein, I went for "The A-Team", starring Mr. T, George Peppard and Dirk Benedict. Now, this show is utterly hilarious. I can totally see why people loved it, and why it lasted five seasons.

They're supposed to be this badass special forces team on the run, but the show doesn't take this seriously in the slightest. Not only can't any of them aim for shit, but each one of them is downright, flat-out insane. Murdock is just the only one that knows it. Each episode follows the same pattern: Someone who needs help hires the A-Team to complete some kind of mission, the team busts Murdock out of the VA hospital (EVERY WEEK), then they either pile into Mr. T's ridiculously conspicuous custom GMC van OR they have to somehow drug Mr. T or knock him unconscious to get him on board a plane or helicopter flown by Murdock.

Then they taunt the bad guys, exchange some witty banter, Mr. T growls and calls Murdock a "crazy foo" or "sucka", then there's a montage where they build something ludicrous (a small airlane, a cabbage cannon, a metal slingshot made out of a prison cot, etc), then an action sequence where some cars get flipped and shit and no one ever gets shot.

I really can't describe how intensely ridiculous all of this is. Just watch it. You'll see.

Also, today is my birthday. I'm 27. Fear me.

PS, I recognize that this strip is 90% unoriginal. "Olympus Mans" will return in its true form next week.

Gag-Line: Yup. "News"

2009-06-03T17:04:00.001-04:00

Yeah, pretty much.

...and I feel fine

2009-06-02T19:30:00.003-04:00

The disagreement between myself and Cheev over the quality of CBS' oft-cancelled post-apocalypse drama "Jericho" is long-running. My position is that I am willing to forgive the show for subscribing to the patterns of a weekly televised series. Cheev, on the other hand, seems totally unwilling to accept anything other than a totally realistic presentation. Honestly, I think doing so would sacrifice entertainment value for realism.

I'm sure Cheev will post his thoughts in better detail below.

Oh, and he also hated the cast. I won't belabor that point - Skeet Ulrich is far from the world's greatest actor.

Anyhow, I wanted this Tuesday's strip to be about Sucker Punch's "inFamous", which has currently been owning my free time on PS3. Ultimately that didn't happen, though this is still somewhat related. "inFamous" also presents a post-apocalyptic world of sorts - that of fictitious Empire City, which has been cut off and quarantined by the US government. As Cole, an everyman bike messenger, you're caught in the center of the blast that levels a solid chunk of the city. When you wake, you're gifted with electricity-based superpowers.

And it's all wicked awesome. You're tasked with repairing the city's electrical grid, defending its citizens from the gangs that have sprung up and declared various territories within the city as their own, and attempt to clear your name in the public eye as you are the one blamed for the explosion that started this all. There's a great cinematic comic book quality to it all that makes me wish that someone will make a kick-ass movie out of it.

Good words... that's where ideas begin

2009-05-28T21:21:00.003-04:00

I feel like I've been getting the same advice from Cheev for a long time, and just never put it into practice. It's the first step that I have trouble getting past.

Whether or not the second step is the right way is anyone's guess. But Cheev's a philosopher, and philosophy can be murky and open to interpretation.

Also, I've never seen that Jim Carrey movie.

Salvation

2009-05-20T21:58:00.004-04:00

Yes, the fourth "Terminator" movie hits theatres today. I toyed with the idea of going last night at midnight, but I bowed to peer pressure and went to bed instead. I'll probably see it this weekend... or not. Who knows.

At any rate, I'll get to it. I'm excited to see it, but it's not a must like "Star Trek" and "Transformers". It's a little weird because I've wanted them to make a "Terminator" movie that took place exclusively in the future for a while now. Even before the third flick, "Rise of the Machines", with its ballsy ending, wasn't really what I wanted. Ultimately, that movie was fairly unnecessary in a lot of ways (including it's overly jokey tone).

The reviews for "Terminator: Salvation" have not been terribly kind, so far. That's too bad because there really are some interesting stories to tell in that future war against the machines. Still, it could be more like "Transformers", and I'll love it simply because of all the special effects carnage going on.

On the other hand, reviews for "Star Trek" are sitting pretty at 95%. GOOD. If you haven't seen that one yet... what the fuck is wrong with you?

Yes, it happened again

2009-05-19T22:06:00.003-04:00

I have no idea why this continues to happen, but once again, we've run out of oil at our apartment.

Wait, I know exactly why it happens: We're lazy as hell.

The Gag-Line: Crack down

2009-05-14T21:04:00.002-04:00

I have to give special thanks to my friend Jessica A. for this one. Well-done.

What's that old saying?

2009-05-13T16:25:00.002-04:00

Fire Sale

2009-05-05T21:25:00.003-04:00

Printers are, without a doubt, the worst part of any computer. I hate them, and they hate me right back. They invariably fail right when you need them most, fixing them is a crapshoot at best, and their error messages are probably the least helpful and most nonsensical you'll come across.

Fuck printers. Hard.

The Gag-Line: Beastie Boys Edition

2009-04-30T15:29:00.001-04:00

I don't really know the Beastie Boys all that well.

GET TO THE CHOPPA!!

2009-04-29T19:34:00.003-04:00

This week was supposed to be the comic duel challenge between myself and John, who was claiming that "Predator 2" was better than "Predator"... which is ludicrous. I was charged with proving that "Predator" is the better movie, and John would do opposing comics.

Then, I got an email from John telling me that he watched "Predator 2" again over the weekend, that it was a truly awful film, and that he owed me a beer.

"Predator", despite its action-movie trappings and sci-fi setting, is in fact, a classic film. Because of its pedigree or its cast, one might be inclined to dismiss it as so many other action films can be dismissed. But to do so would be presumptuous, maybe a little elitist. It follows all the rules of excellent screenwriting, and is a marvel of technical production for its time. It has distinct, discernible characters, each with their own unique voice. It is excellently paced, and tension builds throughout the entire film, even as it weaves a subplot through the main line. The creature design on the Predator itself is incredible, a testament to the talent of the dearly departed Stan Winston (who also designed such Hollywood icons as The Terminator, Edward Scissorhands, "Aliens" and "Jurassic Park").

And it stars two state governors... and Carl Weathers.

And lastly, it spawned this little gem.

So don't dismiss "Predator". Give it the credit it's due. But go ahead and dismiss all the sequels. Because they're ass.

Playing Dr House

2009-04-22T21:15:00.003-04:00

Of course, the source of the entire Lupus joke isn't random - Cheev is a fan of "House", the cranky MD show on FOX. I'll admit, I've only seen a smattering of episodes here or there, but as far as medical dramas go, it's probably the best one since the heyday of "ER".

Sadly this week's installment of 'Olympus Mans' is in black and white, due to time constraints. A colorized 'unrated director's cut' may appear sometime in the future.

The Gag-Line: Oh no, not again

2009-04-20T17:08:00.003-04:00

The story should go like this:

NEW YORK - Oh God, a new Dan Brown "novel" is coming.

Six years after the release of his mega-selling, but ultra-retarded "The Da Vinci Code", Knopf Doubleday Publishing group announced that Dan Brown was ready to unleash another round of explosive literary diarrhea on an unsuspecting public.

"Crapping out this particular turd has been a strange and grueling process," Brown said in a statement Monday. "First, I had to eat a lot of beans. But I also ate a lot of corn, so it was a very granular crap. Anyway, once I was finished with it, I turned it over to my team of retarded, finger-less ghost-writing monkey cyborgs and they did their thing."

When the finger-less monkey cyborgs were done, Brown said, that's when the magic happens. "I turned it over to my editors, and they saw what the monkey cyborgs had done, tearing my crap apart, throwing it at each other as best they can with their finger-less stub hands... and they were just thrilled."

Brown's editors agreed. "We were just thrilled."

A week late, a dollar short

2009-04-16T20:22:00.002-04:00

Yeah, I took forever to get this week's comic up. But, as always, work got in the way! Anyway, this week's bit isn't based on a real conversation Cheev and I had. At least, not specifically. It's sort of archetypal, as we've had similar conversations regarding various movies and TV shows. Sometimes, he'll like something and I won't understand why, or I'll like something and he won't get it in return. Sometimes I don't like things because there's no depth or artistry to it, while other times I can totally let myself go in the most ludicrously stupid things.

"Snakes on a Plane", for example.

The Gag-Line: Overly snarky common sense

2009-04-16T15:22:00.002-04:00

Not exactly 'clever' in any way, but... Hey. If I could get away with telling the truth in this paper, I would.

The Gag-Line: Good advice

2009-04-12T19:11:00.003-04:00

This seems like it would be common sense. But apparently it's not. People apparently flush ridiculous things down their toilets and then wonder why the town's sewer system, is, well, the shitter.

Looking for Lupus in all the wrong places

2009-04-07T20:51:00.003-04:00

After a week off due to job-related stress, "Olympus Mans" returns to our multi-part epic dealing with Cheev's bout of ignorant lupus. Recently, I had a discussion with Cheev (and really what I mean by that is he spilled a bunch of personal stuff to me and I just sort of nodded and smiled because I didn't know what he was talking about) regarding his relationships and his feelings regarding his relationship ability in general.

Romantic relationships, it shockingly turns out, are really fucking hard to understand. The Klingons probably have it right: You walk up, make some grand display (like destroying your enemies in honorable combat) in front of a chick and she's impressed and you marry her. Around here, it's like, 'Oh, meet some chick at a bar and attempt to not look like a total douche trying to get her to tell you her name' ... and that's just the first step.

Ah, Klingons. Is there anything they can't teach us?

PS: Sto-Vo-Kor

The Gag-Line: How long will this one last?

2009-04-02T15:33:00.002-04:00

I'm sure I'll get yelled at for this.

The ReDeadening 2: A Preface to Mystery - Episode 2 : Canto III - Epilogue

2009-03-26T20:53:00.003-04:00

Needless to say, living with Cheev was an adventure in many, many different ways.

The Gag-Line: C'mon, like, seriously...

2009-03-25T19:53:00.001-04:00

I knew this would never fly, of course, but, my god did this story piss me off.

The Gag-Line: Change Edition

2009-03-25T19:45:00.003-04:00

Sadly, neither this headline nor even this excellent picture of President Obama made it into the paper. Instead, it was replaced with the most generic photo you could possibly imagine of Obama at a podium in front of a bunch of people. -SNORE-.

The ReDeadening 2: A Preface to Mystery - Episode 1 - Prologue: Chapter 1

2009-03-24T18:29:00.005-04:00

Part one of a multi-part epic! I came home one night and Cheev told me about a certain health issue he was having, one that could involve some kind of long-term issues and treatments, and because we're just special in that way, it of course lead to a running gag that has just expanded over the course of the last year.

To be continued, Thursday...

All this has been eaten before...

2009-03-19T21:59:00.004-04:00

Tomorrow night is the very last episode of "Battlestar Galactica". It's the end of an era. In more ways than one, apparently.

The first part of this three-hour epic aired last week. Tomorrow night, I'll be planting myself on the couch, with SciFi HD on, the surround system turned up, and a bunch of pizza and beer. I'll celebrate one one of the best TV shows to grace the airwaves in a long time.

So say we all.

This conversation really happened

2009-03-17T19:29:00.004-04:00

So I've been sick the last five or six days. I didn't really feel it coming on, I just got slammed last Wednesday. Thus, 'Olympus Mans' has been delayed until today since I wasn't going to work, and I really wasn't doing anything beyond being on the couch watching a zillion friggin' movies. I did learn a few things, though:

"Black Hawk Down" really isn't a good movie, but it looks amazing on Blu-Ray. It also happens to be on sale this week for a mere $14.99.

"Planet of the Apes" is still an awesome movie 40-something years later.

"Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan" pwns. I also watched "Star Trek III: The Search for Spock," "Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country," and "Star Trek: Nemesis". My roommate seemed surprised that there were 10 of these things, and that six of them starred the original crew with William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy.

I also made more than my fair share of necrophelia jokes, since my roommate continued to bring his friends over, despite how obviously sick I was. Alright, the necrophelia jokes are aimed solely at ONE of his friends, and not all of them. It's a running gag. Really.

I swear.

PS, tonight's strip was inked and colored entirely using Adobe Illustrator, a first both for 'Olympus Mans' AND for myself. Hooray for me.

The Gag-Line: Why I'm Going to Hell

2009-03-10T19:37:00.005-04:00

Welcome to Gag-Line. Often at work, I find myself struck by inspiration. Here, you will take that journey with me.

By force, if necessary.

Who watches the 'Watchmen' fanatics?

2009-03-09T17:45:00.001-04:00

The long-gestating movie adaptation of Alan Moore's "Watchmen" hit theatres this past weekend, to the tune of $55.7 million. I enjoyed my time with it, but definitely had qualms. Obviously, in adapting a story from one medium to another, things will get changed. For the longest time, Moore himself maintained that the story was "unfilmable", that it was so deeply embedded in the form of comics that no movie could ever do it justice.

Was he right? Well, yes and no. There are times when "Watchmen" is absolutely Moore's deservedly critically acclaimed graphic novel brought to life. In fact, most of the movie is like that - recognizable images from the source pop into sudden, brilliant motion on screen. The characters or Rorschach and Dr. Manhattan simply own every scene they're in.

But there are also parts of the movie, specifically pertaining to Dr. Manhattan, and the main mystery plot, where the movie stumbles. There's an irony here that while the movie strives so hard to be faithful to the comic that it actually hurts itself as a movie. The mystery plot of the film, for example, simply grinds to a halt while the movie takes time to build its characters. On the flipside, despite its lengthy running time, the movie has to compress the storyling building up to the ending, which is where the movie deviates the most from the source material.

So ultimately, "Watchmen," as long and dense as it is, becomes an almost-masterpiece. It wants to be taken as seriously as last years "The Dark Knight" but stumbles over its own indecisiveness about how slavishly it will adapt the original material. While "Dark Knight" fired on all cylinders with amazing casting, direction, cinematography, etc, "Watchmen" stumbles with some flat casting and the aforementioned structural issues.

Still, even though Alan Moore may never admit it, we might hope that one day he'll feel that perhaps, "Watchmen" wasn't unfilmable after all.

Guitar Fear-o

2009-03-04T22:59:00.001-05:00

Ah, rhythm games. The savior of the music industry, and a huge part of the boom of the gaming industry. It started, of course, with Harmonix's "Guitar Hero" (it really started a lot earlier with Konami's "Guitar Freaks", but let's face it, no one who's anyone ever played that game). After Harmonix split (taking their ass-loads of cash with them) they created "Rock Band" and now actually compete with their original creation, now managed by Neversoft.

"Guitar Hero" has expanded to include handheld versions, versions dedicated to individual bands (Aerosmith last year and Metallica later this month), and the full band with "World Tour". Now, proving once and for all that rhythm games aren't only the savior of the music industry, but the future of it... it gets its own Greatest Hits release.

PS, No Doubt is back from the dead.

Are we done yet?

2009-03-02T12:10:00.000-05:00

I know I live in Massachusetts. But seriously, this is just a little bit ridiculous.

PS, There will be real strips this week, too. I swear.

Communication Smackdown

2009-02-24T18:14:00.000-05:00

We live in "the connected age". Cell phones, smart phones, iPhones, netbooks, laptops, 3G, 5000 TV channels beamed down to your 60-inch LCD HDTV, satellites can jerk you off from 300 miles up in orbit of the moon.

So why in the hell doesn't anybody listen to anything? Only fifty percent of tonight's strip is fictional. You probably don't need me to tell you which half that is. Because I don't want to. It'd go against everything this strip is trying to say.

Communication is essential in our lives. We don't all live alone like some crazy mental-case in a 10-by-12 shack in the woods, mailing bombs to people we don't like. We have our friends, we have our families, we have Facebook to help us indulge our inner stalker. Human beings need to interact.

And yet, when we do, we all act like we just crawled out of the swamp instead of our ancestors. Now, I'm not saying that we should all be lovey-dovey nice to each other. There are people out there, who, frankly, don't deserve my respect, and upon whom I heap piles and piles of scorn and loathing. Ahem. Hell, half of the Internet seems reserved for flame-wars and forum trolling. No one should be nice to those mouth-breathing basement dwellers, least of all me.

In Search of Badassery

2009-02-20T20:03:00.000-05:00

Ah, the Badass. Throughout our history, we have looked to them, the ultimate examples of our species that manage to become great leaders, great fighters, great... doers of things that are really friggin' cool.

How do you define badassery? It's difficult, of course. Easier to describe with language than lots of other concepts, but like many ideas, rather subjective. There are different kinds of badassery, too, which makes things more complicated.

There's Liam Neeson, who's mere VOICE makes him badass. But then he goes and makes a film like "Taken", which essentially allows him to brutalize every Albanian in France in search of his kidnapped daughter. The sheer awesomeness of the violence in this movie makes sure that Neeson, who has never been much of an action star (previous credits mostly being an excellent turn as the villain in "Batman Begins", one lame-ass "Star Wars" prequel and Sam Raimi's little known comic book actioner "Dark Man"), will forever have his badass legacy burned into the minds of anyone who sees it.

There's more humorous badasses, like Harrison Ford. Here's a guy who manages to bank a career on looking really worried while doing really awesome shit like crawling up underneath a Nazi truck while being dragged through the desert as unlikely college professor Henry "Indiana" Jones Jr. Or he looks worried while piloting that piece of junk Millenium Falcon as scruffy-looking nerf-herder Han Solo. Or he looks worried while offing ex-Soviet terrorists and tossing Gary Oldman off his plane as President Jack Marshall in "Air Force One".

There's straight up, nearly deranged badasses like Christian Bale. I never thought anyone could come close to Kevin Conroy as Batman until the kid from "Newsies" threw on a goddamn suit of armor and began actually scaring the crap out of the crooks (and cops) of Gotham City. Not one to just sit around when he's got a good thing going, Bale then signs on to "Terminator Salvation" and becomes the first good actor to ever play John Connor, savior of the human race in a future decimated by killer robots.

Sometimes, badass isn't a person, it's an event or something else that you can't actually touch with your hands. Take "Transformers" - Giant robots from outer space kicking the crap out of each other? Badass. "V For Vendetta" - V's Guy Fawkes visage inspiring the people to take charge? Badass.

But those are all movies, fictional characters, things that just don't happen. Is there badassery in normal life? We want there to be, don't we? Badassery is what we all wish we had to make our lives more interesting, to give us that jolt of adrenaline that we just don't get from sitting at a desk staring at a computer monitor.

We have to make our own badassery. That's something it took me a long time to learn, and I'm still working on it.